i need a personal assistant. i'm out.

6Aug/090

i need a personal assistant. i’m out.

My list is longer. Why won't people let me do things that I need to do? I have it on my list. I want to cross it off my list Then, they're like, "oh, you have to call back in two weeks." or "it's in the mail, we promise." or "we don't like and we don't want to help you and we hope you crash into the Atlantic." Wow, that was harsh, fake last person.

Here are my big problems right now:

Even though I was promised this, I haven't received my driver's license renewal form in the mail. I called the DMV and they said to come in around August 25th which is 60 days before my birthday. (I am giving you that extra information so you will buy me a present). Well, I will be somewhere in between Chicago and Boston on that day so it will have to wait until Sept. 2nd or so. I hope I can get my actual license before I take off on Sept. 26th.
I also haven't received my lien release although it was clearly promised to me that it was being sent out 48 hours after that big todo a couple of weeks ago. I even shelled out $17 for it! I called yesterday and this super Jehovah's Witness level nice guy profusely apologized and told me he was personally bringing it to the mail room. I do not necessarily believe this man and the picture he was painting for me. Anyhow, when I get this said document, I have to go to the DMV and try to get my title which will take another four weeks. This means I have to get it before Tuesday August, 17th otherwise I'm H-E-Double L Screwed because then I won't be able to take care of it until I get back on 9/2. Which means I will not get that title before I leave. Which means I can't sign it over to my Mother. Which means I have to keep insuring my car. Glory be, karma. What have I done to ye?
It is hot in my apartment. Ridiculously hot. I will admit I had a super high electric bill the last coupla months and upon investigation I found the thermostat in the bedroom was on ever-so-slightly. That was foolish and it has since been remedied. However, this did not fix the hot living room dilemma. And that thermostat is 100% off as it has been all this while. And I can't open the windows because the cats have torn through the screens and they will undoubtedly take a leap for it given the chance. So I am forced to blast the AC to combat what is surely a broken thermostat. It's the battle of the century. And the human people are losing. I am going to alert my landlord the next time I see him patrolling the neighborhood to see if he can Bill Clinton my situation. (I submit "Bill Clinton" to be the new verb to use if you need anything saved, helped or any general superhero type task)

This is the short, most immediate, anxiety-inducing list. It makes that bottle of Xanax I have on my counter that was prescribed to me to use on my impending plane rides over the water very tempting.

And, in closing, Alex is back in town and living in my apartment. He has not domestic violenced me yet. Nor I him. YET.