Lien Release | What Up, Vienna?

13Aug/090

i almost started crying at the dmv on tuesday

That subject is no lie.

If you have faithfully read the blog up to this point, you know that I have been having some issues securing my title from the great state of California. Things were looking up this weekend when the postman brought me my lien release on Saturday. So Tuesday, I went down to the DMV office, waited my turn and with some sort of retarded optimism handed the lady my filled-out form, lien release and driver's license. This is my third or fifth time talking to the DMV regarding this issue by the way. So she looks at my paperwork, types something on her computer, then starts slowly shaking her head. That can't be bad, right? She probably just has like some sort of shaking-her-head tick. Then, she turns to me and says, you need a title.

Me: "But I don't have a title. It's a paperless title! I came here and they said all I needed was this lien release and I could have a title."

She saw my desperation, turned back to her computer, pretended to do something and then turned back to me basically repeating what she just said to me. Two can play at this game. I basically repeated what I said the first time back to her but threw in a little more whine and youmusthelpme. Then she calls over her supervisor. They talk for a few minutes and then the supervisor says, "Blah, blah blah, I'm sorry, we can't help you." And that was it. My optimism was gone, retarded or not. As I opened my mouth to protest, I couldn't stop the beginnings of a full-on public sobfest. I went for it anyways, I repeated my case, added in the fact that I was moving to Europe and I needed to sign..my...car..over to my mother, cracking voice, cracking voice, fighting back tears and almost wailing. No dice. These ladies must have seen this a million times. The look that they were giving me was a united front of we'resorry, wecan'thelpyou, and wereallyhopeyoudon'tembarrassyourselfbycryinginpublic. So that was enough. I grabbed my forms, said thank you and walked out avoiding eye contact. When I made it to my car a half-block away, I did what any mature 32 year old person would do, I called my mother and burst into tears.

BUT there's a happy ending to this story. And it involves the superhero only second to President Bill Clinton...the great state of Texas. See, Mazda from the getgo implied to me that my title was to be procured from California. Seemed logical to me. I am insured, registered and licensed in this state. However, I purchased this car in Texas in 2002, Mazda held onto the title because they were the lienholder, but then I paid it off in 2007 living in California wherein I now had the rights to that title. It was paperless though so I never received anything in the mail. It was just mine when I decided to go through the necessary bureaucratic treasure hunt to find it. So Wednesday morning, I called the TX DOT (not DMV, they do things different y'all) got some lady on the phone in like 30 seconds, she gets my VIN, tells me she has my title and then I CAN JUST SEND HER AN EASY FORM, THE LIEN RELEASE AND A CHECK FOR TWO MOTHERFUCKING DOLLARS AND I GET MY TITLE!!!! The kicker... they purportedly send it in five days. California promised it in two to four weeks and god knows what they were gonna charge me.

What I don't understand is why the first time I talked to the DMV, they didn't say, hey, we don't have your title at all. It is not here. Don't fill out our forms or make appointments in our offices, take off work and wait in line. You should find this title somewhere else, in another state, maybe the state you bought the car in. We know this because we deal with this every day from people all over our huge state. Your situation is completely not unique. And we don't want to give you the runaround. We're not here to waste your time and take your money and then waste some more of your time. Now, here take this warm chocolate chip cookie and you have a good day.

This won't happen . Whatever. I can live. Constant frustration and disappointment builds character. Or at least that's what I repeat to myself 50 times every morning in the mirror. Stay tuned to see what happens. And, if you don't mind, cross your fingers for me.

Tagged as: car title, crying, customer service, dmv, douchebag, lien release, to-do list No Comments

10Aug/091

i have positivish things to report.

Well, man alive. There I went writing a very doomsday post and here I am now writing a "well, goshdarn it, things are looking up" post. It all began with this charming gentleman who moved into my apartment on Wednesday night. Nudge, nudge, elbow, elbow. Then, Saturday morning I check the mail and lo, and behold, my lien release arrived! That nice man at Mazda were not foolin. Hip hip hooray. Good karma coming his way.

Then, we spent about five hours shopping and I managed to knock a number of items off my to-do list including buying luggage and cat supplies. Later, Alex bought a camera online (takes still photos AND does video). And today we got all but one of our needed hotel rooms. We still haven't been able to decide where in Chicago we will be staying. I think it should depend on what we are going to do whilst we're there and Alex feels that it should depend on how much he can avoid traffic trying to get out of the city. Hopefully, we can come to a happy medium on this. Medium being where large is totally what I want to do and small being almost totally what I want to do.

Now I would like to say something about purchasing luggage. It is heartbreaking. You are in Macy's. You go to the luggage area. You see a set of luggage that you instantly make a connection with. You want it. IT wants YOU. And then you see how much that motherfucker swiss army bastard wants you to shell over for it. Suck it, knife. I am not paying $300 for the smallest of your roller suitcases. It is depressing. I wanted it. I wanted Samsonite. I wanted it all. It makes me take back all the times that I was watching Price is Right and I saw that a set of fine luggage was one of the prizes and I just pooh-poohed it. What a fool I was. Then we go to JC Pennys where they were trying to pawn off the saddest, four-eyed, skinned knee, in the band, playin' D&D nerdy piece-of-shit luggage that I have set my eyes on. I already fell in love with George Clooney. You can't give me Mickey Rourke and expect me not to have a problem. Fuck JC Pennys. And fuck Macy's too. And guess who saved the day? No, not Bill Clinton in a private jet, but damn close. TARGET. Yeah, that's right. Target convinced me I didn't need a sad, poor replacement for Samsonite, five-piece-set of luggage. I just needed one huge suitcase. And they actually have a decent high-end brand. So I am now the proud owner of a 27" red roller suitcase which will NOT be used to mule drugs to Vienna.

Tagged as: alex platt, customer service, lien release, luggage, to-do list 1 Comment

6Aug/090

i need a personal assistant. i’m out.

My list is longer. Why won't people let me do things that I need to do? I have it on my list. I want to cross it off my list Then, they're like, "oh, you have to call back in two weeks." or "it's in the mail, we promise." or "we don't like and we don't want to help you and we hope you crash into the Atlantic." Wow, that was harsh, fake last person.

Here are my big problems right now:

Even though I was promised this, I haven't received my driver's license renewal form in the mail. I called the DMV and they said to come in around August 25th which is 60 days before my birthday. (I am giving you that extra information so you will buy me a present). Well, I will be somewhere in between Chicago and Boston on that day so it will have to wait until Sept. 2nd or so. I hope I can get my actual license before I take off on Sept. 26th.
I also haven't received my lien release although it was clearly promised to me that it was being sent out 48 hours after that big todo a couple of weeks ago. I even shelled out $17 for it! I called yesterday and this super Jehovah's Witness level nice guy profusely apologized and told me he was personally bringing it to the mail room. I do not necessarily believe this man and the picture he was painting for me. Anyhow, when I get this said document, I have to go to the DMV and try to get my title which will take another four weeks. This means I have to get it before Tuesday August, 17th otherwise I'm H-E-Double L Screwed because then I won't be able to take care of it until I get back on 9/2. Which means I will not get that title before I leave. Which means I can't sign it over to my Mother. Which means I have to keep insuring my car. Glory be, karma. What have I done to ye?
It is hot in my apartment. Ridiculously hot. I will admit I had a super high electric bill the last coupla months and upon investigation I found the thermostat in the bedroom was on ever-so-slightly. That was foolish and it has since been remedied. However, this did not fix the hot living room dilemma. And that thermostat is 100% off as it has been all this while. And I can't open the windows because the cats have torn through the screens and they will undoubtedly take a leap for it given the chance. So I am forced to blast the AC to combat what is surely a broken thermostat. It's the battle of the century. And the human people are losing. I am going to alert my landlord the next time I see him patrolling the neighborhood to see if he can Bill Clinton my situation. (I submit "Bill Clinton" to be the new verb to use if you need anything saved, helped or any general superhero type task)

This is the short, most immediate, anxiety-inducing list. It makes that bottle of Xanax I have on my counter that was prescribed to me to use on my impending plane rides over the water very tempting.

And, in closing, Alex is back in town and living in my apartment. He has not domestic violenced me yet. Nor I him. YET.

Tagged as: apartment, car title, customer service, dmv, lien release, to-do list, xanax No Comments

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