Parents | What Up, Vienna?

9Jan/103

he liked it so he went and put a ring on it (among other things)

I am so behind on these blog posts. It is my goal to catch up this weekend. And not one of those fake New Year's resolution no intention of actually following through on them goals but a for-real goal. A goal I will achieve! A goal for the ages! A goal that which I will talk about so much as to procrastinate actually completing the goal itself!

While you are waiting for at least two more meaty blog posts, I will share with you a couple updates on my goings-on:

1) I am engaged! (Ich liebe dich, Alex)
2) I am currently under a non-self-imposed exile from Austria and its Schengen country brethren. (Further explanation forthcoming in an as aforementioned new blog post)
3) I have recently released a new episode of my podcast Walking With Michelle and a new episode of my web cartoon Into the Dumb. (You can also subscribe on iTunes if you're into that sort of thing)

I must now take leave as I am at my parents' house in Sun City, Arizona and we're going to the bowling alley to play pool. And then we're going we're going to eat terrible Mexican food. Oh, how I have missed you, America.

Tagged as: alex platt, parents, sun city 3 Comments

19Sep/090

breaking health news (and a few other things)

My doctor called me. I have good news and bad news. Good news is my cholesterol went down a whopping 60 points with absolutely no effort on my part. It was getting close to the high side when I saw him last and this has sent me back into normalsville. High fives all around. Now for the bad news. Are you sitting down? Apparently... I seem to be vitamin D deficient. You're probably asking yourself or the internet... What does that mean? I will answer that question for you.. Nothing to really write home about. Unless you feel like oldschooling it up and writing a nice letter back home.

"Dear Home,

Michelle Biloon seems to be Vitamin D deficient. I think she needs to drink more milk in the sun with no sunscreen on. And please remember to write her family a sympathy card when she dies of skin cancer.

Fondest regards,

Dr. Idiot"

So I am not opting for that drinking milk / hanging out in the sun combo. My doctor has advised me to take 8000 iu of Vitamin D drops every day. That is four times the amount recommended on the bottle! And, no, it doesn't get you high. Then again, I was just dropping it into Kool-Aid. Maybe I should try some gin.

And in other news, I feel compelled to report that I had my last day at work a week early. It was not by my choice. I won't go into details but let's just say that my boss and I never really got along. I think we differed on the grounds that I am a very talented, worthwhile, professional human being and he is a douchebag. I really can think of no other reason why you would terminate somebody's contract a week before their last day when they originally gave three months notice so you would have enough time to prepare for the eventual departure. Oh, well. It actually worked out for the better because as it turns out, I seemed to have a lot of errands to run. I should have always had had an extra week of not working before I left. I don't know what I was thinking. I would not have been able to finish all my to-dos what with next week's goodbye show having, Judge Judy taping going to and Disneyland rabblerousin'.

So here I am now at my parents' place in Sun City, AZ. I will be leaving on a plane on Monday leaving my car behind. My stepfather has already made mention of taking the stickers off my bumper. I thought about it and offered, "Well, you can give me $20 for every sticker you take off." Success! I think my stickers will be safe.

So I have more week left. One week from now, I will be on a plane to Austria. It hurts my brain to think about it. I might as well be moving to Mars. Even though Alex is there and tells me about what he sees and does every day, it still seems so surreal for me to be there. It's like finding out what happens after you die. I can't imagine it but I know I'm going to know one day what it is. And next week is that day everybody. The finding out about living in Vienna part, not finding out what happens after you die. Damn! I just jinxed myself. Great, I'm going to have to take four Xanax now just to make it through this flight.

Stay tuned for upcoming huge news from Alex. I won't spoil it.

Tagged as: airplane, car, cholesterol, disneyland, doctor, douchebag, fired, judge judy, parents, to-do list, vitamin d, work, xanax No Comments

21Aug/093

reporting from the middle of nowhere

Well, we are a few days into our trip. I am sitting at a computer in the Grantsburg public library. It weren't easy. The teenager manning the front desk didn't take too kindly to letting an outsider use the services. I tried to pawn my Grandpa's card off on her but that didn't work. I had to resort to my overpowering charm. She didn't stand a chance.

It's been a great trip so far. Tuesday, the day I flew in, Alex and I went to my sister's house in Lakeville, MN and played Dungeons and Dragons with my 16-year-old nephew Nick and three of his friends. We brought them food (Mtn Dew Game Fuel, Oreos and Jimmy Johns Subs) and we were instantly accepted. We had a pretty good time. I think we "won" the game? I mean, we took out some dire rats, saved some slaves and defeated this mean lady. That spells success to me.

We stayed at Mystic Lake Casino with my parents that night. My twin sister and two cousins also joined us for a nice buffet dinner. I got some slot machining in but the big fun was a couple hours of blackjack with Alex and my cousin Jenny. Really, my game is craps. But, alas, they do not have craps at this casino or most Indian casinos for that matter. So we settled on a $5 blackjack table. We had a bunch of great oldie tablemates and two dealers in a row named John. Then, we got Sherri who I insisted on still calling John. She did not react to that. Her name tag should have read "No Fun At All." And by that time all the fun oldies had left. So we collected our winnings and cashed out. Alex broke even and I came out $15 ahead. Eat that, Native Americans!

Now, we are in rural Wisconsin. My grandpa has a cabin on Little Wood Lake about 12 miles outside of Grantsburg, WI (pop. 1200). On our way from the cities (read Twin Cities), it started to get so wooded, Alex got a little afeared of axe murderers jumping out at him. I said, it is only going to get worse. And considering it takes a cop probably 45 minutes to get to you wherever you are and that's assuming you can get cell phone reception which you probably can't. An axe murdering in Burnett County is pretty final. We have managed to avoid meeting that end as of yet.

Anyhow, as I said, we are at the public library. Then, we are going to get lunch at the new Chinese restaurant on my mother's insistence in spite of Alex's reluctance. It's a Chinese restaurant in a teeny town in Northwestern Wisconsin. What's not to love about that? I can't wait. I hope it's awful.

On the way back, Alex is getting a three-day fishing license! And he's going fishing with my mother! Oh boy for him! I will be reading! A book! Maybe doing crossword puzzles! Fishing is wet, smelly and gross! Hoooooray!

One more thing, we got our camera. We have been taking pictures. I promise to add some soon once we have a little more convenient computer situation.

Fondest regards.

All my best.

Talk to you soon.